No Beginner's Luck?

So, I wrote in my blog More, More, More about how I want more of God immediately. How is that for patience? Anyway, I recently read this in Dark Night of the Soul, by St. John of the Cross...

"Imperfections of Spiritual Greed and Gluttony Suffered by Beginners:"

"Many beginners are discontent with the spirituality God has given them. They go around melancholy and petulant because they cannot access the consolation they crave in their spiritual practices. They are greedy. There are the ones who cannot get enough of listening to spiritual counsels, of studying religious precepts, of acquiring and consuming sacred literature. Their efforts are imbalanced toward these pursuits and away from the simple commitment to cultivating inner poverty of spirit.

"Those who begin well and progress along their path are the souls who are not interested in knowing more than is necessary to do good works. They set their eyes on God alone, on being right with him. This is their passion! Others have no patience to wait for God to give them what they need when He sees fit.

"Hardly any beginners, no matter how excellent their progress, avoid falling into some of the myriad imperfections of spiritual gluttony, tempted by the sweet flavors of their initial spiritual experiences. Many, seduced by the delights they discover in spiritual practice, strive more for these tasty juices than for the spiritual purity and wisdom that God is really after throughout the spiritual journey. So eager to partake of holy rites, they fail to partake with purity and perfection. The kind of boldness we speak of is a particularly dangerous thing and will only bring harm.

"In ceremonies, beginners may strain to squeeze out feelings of pleasure, instead of offering humble praise and reverence to God within themselves. They are so attached to reaping a sensual harvest, that when no such feelings come, they think they have failed. This is a negative judgment against God. Don't they realize that the sensory benefits are the least of the gifts offered by the divine? They desire to feel and taste of God as if he were comprehensible and accessible, not only in group worship, but in private spiritual practice, as well. This is an imperfection; it is impurity of faith, in opposition to the divine nature. Such souls give everything over to the pursuit of spiritual gratification and consolation.

"Beginners like these never get tired of reading sacred literature. They dedicate themselves to one meditation and then another, in constant search of some pleasure in the things of God. Those who are inclined toward gratification are generally lazy and reluctant to tread the rough road to union."

Ok, so......crap! Back to square one, then? (Sigh...)

I'm glad God loves me even when I'm the poster child for imperfection.