Be Still (Wiggle, Wiggle)

Being, not doing, is my first joy.
Theodore Roethke

Scripture has tons of references to being still and waiting on God. Psalm 37:7 - Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him. Psalm 46:10 - Be still and know that I am God. Zechariah 2:13 - Be still before the LORD, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling.

So, here's the problem. I don't like to be still. I mean, lazy, I can do...but still? If I am going to sit around motionless, I tend to need music or TV or something to think about. I'm not good at just being...I must do. I come across this problem often when I pray as well. My mind wanders to shopping lists and laundry piles and work calls. I know God desires us to just crawl up onto his lap and sit with Him, but in a busy world, sometimes I find it difficult to wind my brain down and log off for the night.

I have tried meditating on scripture. I chose, "Be still and know that I am God." But as my mind imagined the words visually in my head, I suddenly noticed that "Be Still" looked a lot like "Ben Stiller" and I started thinking of the movie Zoolander and how silly it all was and soon found mysef back at square one.

A few weeks ago I took a trip to Ohio for an extended family reunion. We stayed at some cabins on the tip of the lake. It was not that nice of a place: saloon doors on the coffin-sized bedrooms, a TV from the 80's that received only a few channels, no phone, no internet, no radio, no central A/C. The kids had playgrounds and a pool to play on, but as an adult who doesn't do swimsuits, there was very little for me. We talked some, played games, things like that, but I spent most of the trip asking to borrow the car to drive to the mall, to the coffee shop, to the stores, to anywhere! Because I can't just sit and be still. It makes me bonkers. Cabin fever is a real disease.

My cousin and his family were at the reunion. One of his daughters is nine months old. She loves The Wiggles. If you haven't seen the videos of grown men dancing around, you really are missing out. Anyway, there's a song called Wiggle that she loves to dance to, as much as a girl who can't yet stand can dance. Anytime someone would sing out, "Wiggle wiggle!", she would rock back and forth, shake her diapered booty and smile.

I think that is a fitting description of me when trying to peacefully wait on God. Wiggle wiggling all over instead of sitting in the stillness. It's like the frustrating wanderlust just builds up in me until I can't take it anymore. Eventually the energy flies forth like a sprung slinky and I'm off!

Sadly, it took me until the last day of the trip to truly notice my surroundings. After six days of bounding around town looking for something (anything!), I sat for a few moments and found the something that had been in front of me all along. And when I did, I realized that I had left an oppressively hot, busy 40-hour work week in the humid south in exchange for this gorgeous, mid-70's, lazy vacation complete with sparkling lake views and a scarlet sunset - and I was complaining! It made me wonder what amazing beauty I am missing out on when I wiggle wiggle past God on my way to a flashier place that caters to my weak attention span. Sigh...

I desperately need to figure out why I am such a nincompoop.