I Said Yes

From birth I was cast upon You, from my mother's womb You have been my God. Psalm 22:10

So, yes the baptism was great. It wasn't a Damascus Road experience, and a hungry turtle did nip a bit at our feet, but I did feel loved and safe and happy and God was there. I didn't really invite anyone because I was afraid they might feel obligated to come. But somehow word got out and people showed. Some obvious ones, and some pretty random. Several people gave me verses that day, including:

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7

For Zion's sake, I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem's sake, I will not remain quiet, till her vindication shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch. The nations will see your vindication, and all kinds your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephizabah, and your land Beulah; for the LORD will take delight in you, and your land will be married. As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you. Isaiah 62:1-5

We were asked to write a testimony to be read at the service. Here is mine:

"I don't think I ever truly stopped believing in God. Over the years I just grew to believe He hated me and had abandoned me because my life wasn't going according to plan. And so I hated Him back, because it is easier for me to lash out in anger than admit sadness. Sadness just makes me feel hopeless.

"I was in a very low state several years ago, having been flattened relationally, financially, everything. One night I was up late. I felt like I was toeing the line of sanity. I didn't know what to do but for some reason I started praying. I didn't feel any different, but after a series of strange "coincidences", I soon found myself at church. I hadn't attended a church regularly since I was a very young child. While most of me fought the feelings I had there, I found myself every Monday morning wishing it was Sunday just so I could go back and feel that way again.

"At the same time, Christian reinforcement was coming out of the woodwork. Some friends from the past that I didn't even realize had become Christians had started to call a lot. A few coworkers began to witness to me. Some extended family started asking questions. I now know that during that time, God was surrounding me in a network of support. But I was pretty stubborn and it took me almost a year of going to church and arguing by email, phone and in person to everyone who would talk to me, before I got to the point where I chose God. I was saved in a Sunday service during communion.

"I am so thankful for what God has done for me over the last few years, but I chose the life verse from Psalms 22:10 – From birth I was cast upon You, from my mother's womb, You have been my God, because I have begun to realize that His pursuit was not as recent as it originally seemed. I now understand that He's been chasing me my whole life, slowly and patiently working on me day by day. I was just that two years ago, I finally gave up, surrendered, and let Him catch me.

"And now everything has changed."