You Spin Me Right Round, Baby

So, today in Sunday school we talked about the Old Testament "cycle of judges" - basically, the repetitive cause/effect events of Israel’s history. The promises began with a blessing from God, but then Israel became lazy and disobedient. To shake them up and remove their focus from themselves and back on to God, He sent foreign invaders to come take over. In fear, Israel cried out to God, begging to be rescued. So, God raised up a deliverer. In response, Israel became obedient and God continued to bless them. Over time, as the memory of God’s faithfulness began to fade from the minds of the new generations, the cycle repeated itself. I think this pattern is similar to the one many of us follow in our own walks.

When I was younger, situations would happen to me that I didn’t like. They were not life or death issues, but they left me somewhere between disgruntled and annoyed. And they would happen so frequently I quickly learned how to avoid blame and play victim. I attributed my bad luck to the stars being lined up against me. I suspected being born under a bad sign. I blamed fate. I called it April Luck. Friends and family picked up the phrase and would call out “April Luck!” when a string of bad things happened to them. I growled at them but secretly enjoyed the notoriety.

I thought that if there was indeed a God, He allowed these things to happen, and therefore it was obvious He despised me. And now that I know a little more about God, I think He was responsible for some of these problems. But I don’t think it was because He hated me. I think God puts these obstacles in our path just as He did with Israel - with the purpose of reshifting our focus back on Him.

It sounds nice enough in black and white, but when I am stuck in the thick of a continuous loop of drama, to me it feels sort of like a skipping record. And often, like the needle, I don’t really deal with the problem. I just hop-skip-jump the bump and continue on my way. And while it certainly feels like freedom for a moment, it is fleeting. I never truly get anywhere. Because in a mere rotation of 360 degrees, I am once again back to where I started, facing that same obstacle. Eventually, it becomes exhausting.

At the time, I didn’t understand this. And I changed nothing, so nothing changed. Or as the old adage says, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” And what I “got” was more head-on collisions with April Luck.

But now that I have God, I am trying to learn from my sufferings. Instead of asking WHY (i.e.: "Why me?”) I am trying to remember to ask WHAT, (i.e.: “What are you trying to teach me?”) My hope is that one day after loads of practice, my instincts will be honed enough that I actively face all these obstacles right as they come. Then perhaps I will finally be able to move past the breaking point and play out a little more of my song.